Woe. Calamity. Bust. As your retirement account swoons and banks once mighty crumble to dust, you might start to wonder what to do at a time like this. Do you flee to cash? Bullion? Or do you reach deep into those pantalones and find your last bit of pocket change to plow into this bottom? (it is the bottom, right?)
No. All of those involve risk. And require far too much effort.
No, you drink you silly Splunker. And while we watch lower Manhattan sink into the Hudson, we will ask is that glass half full, or half empty. For half-empty is the only way I can imagine serving the Market Crash, a delicious and nutritious blend of brown booze. After all, when you mix red ink with black, brown is what you get.
5 on the South Side.